This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
