I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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