Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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