She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
