Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
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