Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
He kissed a someone with a penis
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
