3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
