R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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