I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Randomize
