she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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