Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Randomize
