I have demons in me.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
