Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
