would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
be right there i have to get my cape
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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