I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
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We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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