terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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