the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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