Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
