i barfeds in our rink
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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