I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
My dick has a subreddit
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
