Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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