32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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