bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you would pick up someone in the library
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Randomize
