i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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