***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
