I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
