is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
