she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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