Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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