the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
that's an acceptable place to lick
it was like eating out sand paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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