i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
