I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
