I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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