Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I need to align my fucking chakras
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
