ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
21 Reasons You’ll Be Forever Alone
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?