I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.