it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
