I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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