Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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