Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
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