FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
