So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
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I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
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I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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