people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
50% drunk capacity currently
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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