Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
