I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Do you remember whose house we're in?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
