So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
