Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
