I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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