never play flip cup with pint glasses
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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