In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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