i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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