I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
