I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
