he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting married
To pizza
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize