Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
