I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
