I got chris browned last night
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
