After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
