Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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