my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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