2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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